What is Happening?

November 11, 2012 - My husband returned from New Jersey.  I could tell that the Lord had used him and rest of the men in a powerful way.  I saw pictures of them and hundreds of others, helping those that had gone through the storm. The body of Christ was alive in them.  I recall two things when he came back.  One Matthew was overly excited. He had just turned 7 months, how quickly time was flying.

The other thing I recall was that my husband looked at me and said "turn around, I want to see your stomach"  when I did he smiled and said "Yeah baby, we are having another boy."  I playfully argued back with him "Nope, it's a girl." He rubbed my stomach and then told Matthew.  "You are going to have a baby brother, I don't care what your momma says."

While watching TV, this evening  I felt a strong flutter.  "There you are"  I told my baby and rubbed my stomach. Shortly after Matthew woke up from his nap.  Thoughts of how we would handle both infants crossed my mind.  When I saw Matthew's face lite up with a smile I thought, it's going to be a joy to have two little ones running around.

November 12-25, 2012 (approximate dates):  In the next few days I began getting daily headaches.  As the days passed they seemed to worsened.  My phone App informed me that at 15-16 weeks expectant mothers can get headaches due to the increase of blood. Morning sickness was almost completely gone. I could eat whatever I wanted on most days and be okay, the only thing that was bugging me were these headaches and lack of energy.

My husband and I began rethinking names.  I had an urgency to find a name.  All the names we both came up with, one or the other disagreed on it.  The girls also mentioned a few, and we could not agree on any of them either. My husband then says have you thought about who the "Godparent's" will be.  "Oh, No!!" I responded.  "That in itself is going to be another long topic".

November 22, 2012- Thanksgiving day.  Had a great time with the family.  Everyone is talking about how big I am already.  My mother in law even asked me, "are you sure you only having one baby?".  There was ONE awkward moment for me, my nephew's girlfriend was there.  We were both suppose to be pregnant at the same time.  But now she wasn't and I was.  I felt bad for her, I tried staying out of her way so she would not be reminded.  I prayed for her and asked God to give her peace. I took one Tylenol to help with the headache and was able to enjoy the rest of the evening.

That night I briefly mentioned to my husband the look on K's face when I walked in.  I was very grateful at that moment to still have my baby.  I was thankful that I was blessed to be able to "carry" a child.

November 24, 2012 - I missed my appointment.  Ugh, can't believe I missed it.  Totally bummed out and disappointed.  God only knows when I will be able to reschedule my appointment for.  I told my husband I would call first thing on Monday to re-schedule.

November 25, 2012- After church someone (can't remember who till this day) says to me, "you look great".  "Awe, thanks" I respond.  They say to me again, "yeah, you REALLY look great, nothing like with Matthew." I respond, "yeah, I know, I feel totally different too, i don't even feel pregnant."

At then end of the week (according to my phone app) I will be 17 weeks!! My husband and I decide it's time to call First Peek.  We want to to find out once and for all, if we were having a a girl or boy.  My husband then mentions to me that he wants to do a photo shoot where we reveal the sex of the baby on Christmas cards for the family. We mention the idea to our sitter (someone will need to photograph us) and she loves it.I will be scheduling that appointment this week.

November 26, 2012- I called the doctor's office and rescheduled, next appointment is not available until   almost mid December. Ugh!

I then go online to schedule the appointment for First Peek.  I confirm with my husband for Sat, Dec 1st. Due to a core leader's meeting at church at 10:00 a.m. I schedule the appointment for 8:30 a.m. We decide we will not mention to the girls where we are going, we will just surprise them on Saturday morning (they got to go with us to with Matthew, and loved it, so we knew they would be thrilled again).

The urgency of finding a name was getting stronger and stronger, i figured it was because we would see the baby in 5 days again.  Had not felt another flutter, but I did not worry. I remembered I did not feel Krystal until much later.

November 27, 2012-While at lunch I surfed through the internet for baby names (again).  After some time Iran into the name KATERINA.  Fell in love with it.  Now if only my husband would like it.  That evening I presented the name to my husband and after him saying it out loud a few times.  He looked at me and said "OK" I like it, it's done. KATERINA....if it's a girl.  We tried agreeing in on boys name.  Again to no avail. I mentioned the name Mark, he was't crazy about it, but did not dismiss it either.  Good we are closer now.

Lying on my bed one night, I begin to wonder. "What is happening?"  I don't recall ever having these many headaches with my other pregnancies. I rub my stomach as usual. I lay my hands again on my stomach and hope that maybe tonight I will get to feel the baby move.  In just a few more days I will see you again. 

I thank God for his Grace and Mercy and as usual pray for my family, my friends, the youth and the lost.  I specifically find myself praying to God about this child as thoughts of the last ultrasound pop into my head. "No weapon formed against you will prosper." 

God you are in control of everything pertaining to us.  Help us raise our children in a way that it will be pleasing to you.  Guide us and direct us in the big and the small, in and out of our homes.   I pray for K and her situation and ask God to forgive all us for at one time or another destroying instead of building, resenting instead of forgiving, acting on our own instead of doing His will, doubting instead of trusting.