November 30, 2012: I wake up and dash to the bathroom to check if the bleeding has stopped. YES!!! There is no sign of any spotting - none, zip, zilch, nada. Thank God!!!! My husband asks me right away when he hears me come out of the restroom and I tell him I am OK. I know we are both relieved. I get dressed and ready to drive to my sister's house to pick up my nephew. Today is the day my nephew will begin spray painting the artwork in the youth ministry room. I am so excited, I have been envisioning this day for years. I have a ton of neon color spray paint in my trunk and think to myself I wonder if I could get in trouble for having this in my trunk and driving in to the city?" Can't wait to get started. After picking up my nephew, I get a call from my husband that he wants me to pick him up too so I drive back to the house to get him. We kiss our little munchkin (Matthew) on his chubby cheeks (he is almost 6 month old now) and head out to church.
We begin working immediately. My husband begins to work on setting up the wall where the projector will be located and my nephew and I begin discussing concepts. Once the concepts have been sketched up, my nephew begins to spray paint, immediately my husband tells me I should not stay in the room due to my condition. Keeping in mind what happened last night (spotting) I agree to stay clear. The remainder of the day I go back and forth into the room to see and guide my nephew with the vision in mind. After hours of working on one wall my nephew comes to me and says you mentioned you wanted me to write something on the wall? I tell him yes, but I was thinking that would be in a different wall, but when I walk over to the room and see the work I understand why it fits there. I give him Ephesians 3:18 "May you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is." I find myself reading and re-reading this over and over. I tell myself there is no way I can begin to understand why God's love is so profound. As we head out for the day, I read this one more time.
I head out to the city with my youngest daughter and nephew to drop him off. The plan is to head out to the "Unity Service" right after. As usual I take the I 90/94, as we are heading there I talk to my nephew about the blessings of God. I tell him, how I will need to get a bigger car soon. He tells me, if I decide to sell mine to let him know. After dropping him off, I notice I am cutting it close to the start of Service, but I am relieved knowing I am already in the city and I don't have far to travel. It is about 6:40 P.M as I head back to I 90/94.
As I head towards at the church, my daughter and I are talking in the car. I see the Irving Park exit and plan on taking it, I get involved in our conversation and her questions, that I accidentally miss my exit. I think to myself "no biggie, I'll just take the next exit." As I merge onto the Kostner exit lane I begin to apply the break, but my car doesn't it feels like it is slowing down. I repeatedly press the break, to no avail. The car is not slowing down. Up ahead I see a red light for me and traffic flowing. I now slam my foot on the break, still no luck. I do this several times, the car still keep going. I think to myself "this is something from a movie." At one point I second guess myself and think maybe I am pressing the gas pedal instead of the break, so I press the "other" pedal but the car accelerates even more! So I go back to pressing the break pedal with all my might!
The car has naturally, slowed down a bit but I am still traveling at about 45-50 mph. I tell my daughter "the car is not stopping, make sure you have your seat belt on and grab on tight", and she yells back "I'm scared mom, what should I do" I say to her "Pray baby girl, pray." As I get closer and closer to the traffic flowing through in front of me and the red light up ahead, I begin to say out loud over and over again "Clear the way God, clear the way." At about 20 feet from impact into the flowing traffic my only instinct is to throw the car into Park. I tell my daughter "Here we go" and I think "God, make a way." I feel the car swerve and tires screech but we make it about 5 feet before hitting a white vehicle going across. The car still seems to be revving on its own even though it is in Park. I then turn off the car and wait for a couple minutes. I am shaking from head to toe. I check on my daughter and in a low voice she says "I'm ok mom". I say 'Thank you God, Thank you" a few times.
I turn the car back on (I am in the middle of the expressway exit) and the car quickly begins to rev up again. I tell my daughter I just gotta move it out of the way and get closer to where I can call your dad. I end up having to throw the car back into Park 2 more times, but by the Grace of God, the car is out of the way and I call my husband. I explain everything to him and he rushes over (he was already at the church where I was suppose to meet him). While I wait for him, I get down by the car pedals and push on both the accelerator and the break (with both hands). My daughter says "Mom, what are you doing?" I explain to her "I am just checking something" I take the carpet out and make sure there is nothing underneath the break to prevent me for going down when pressed, nothing...
My husband arrives and I explain to him how the car will rev up on its own when he turns it on, and that as soon as he puts in drive it will take off. From a distance I see him, get in the car, turn it on, and sure enough I hear the car rev up, then suddenly when he presses the accelerator the car goes back to normal. The revving stops, the breaks work, the car is "fine."
We head towards the church where our youth group is waiting for us. I praise God even more that evening for protecting my daughter, my baby and I in what could have been a hideous accident. There is no explanation as to why this happened or how it suddenly stopped revving My husband explains you just needed to press the gas pedal, but I know this is not true. I did all of that. That did not work when I did it.
All through out the day I keep asking God to keep my baby safe. Every time I use the bathroom I pray there is no bleeding (and there isn't-none for the entire day). As the day progresses and I think about our day tomorrow I get excited all over again. I think about how we were not planning to have another child, but I recognize that this was God's plan. I think about if its a girl, I will begin shopping right away, I've already seen a dress that I really want. If it's a boy we will be OK for a while, since I have been holding on to ALL of Matthew's clothes. I think about how all this started with me freaking out and where I am today.
I am so grateful to God. I come to understand that what it is to have your plans that we push and forget that God knows what is best for us. I think about how it will be so much fun and will def be a challenge to have two small children, one teenager and a preteen. I get excited and nervous at the thought. At this point I don't even care if we are all sandwiched in our (what now seems to be getting smaller and smaller) home. God will make a way, he always does. I don't know where we will end up in ministry, but I tell myself it's ALL in God's hands. We have always been taught to have our hands "open" in ministry and be ready to pass on the baton.
Throughout the day I think of the scripture on the wall "May you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is." Eph 3:18 I think to myself God I know you love me, but I still believe I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of really understanding how great your love is. I want to know more and more of this love God.
That night I make sure our stuff is ready to go, so we will be on time for our appointment. Can't help but smile. I fall asleep thanking God over and over for our safety. For clearing the way, for stopping the car (not once but three times), for helping me keeping it together and not panicking. God is good. Yes, His love is so much wider, longer, higher and deeper than I could ever understand.
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