November 6, 2012 -My husband came to me today and mentioned he wants to go to the East Coast with a group of men from the church to go and help victims of Hurricane Sandy. Its nice to see how God uses the men in our church. The group being gathered is set to leave Thursday or Friday.
(Through out the week. I watch my husband make calls, get donations and prepare for the trip).
November 7, 2012 - The men make a final decision and decide they will head out Thursday evening (after work). I go about my day as usual. Late that evening my daughter Krystal brings out some of her very own sweaters and other clothing for the "children that needs them." (Krystal, whom since the age of 4 has always said she someday hopes to go to Africa). I give her a hug and take her sweaters and tell her, "this is awesome Krys." She helps me pack her clothes in a bag. I am SO proud of her!!
November 8, 2012 - (2:52 PM) - I receive a call from the hospital, but I am unable to pick up the call, since I am in a work meeting. As soon as leave work for the day, I listen to the message. The message says. "Hi Gloria, this is Kelly the Genetic counselor at.______ just want to let you know your first trimester screen came back Negative, which is good. Risk is 1 in 1800 for Down Syndrome and 1 in 3500 for the other chromosome abnormalities.These risks are MUCH lower then your age related risks, so it's very reassuring . Just remember this is a screening test not a diagnostic test, we are going to forward to....blah blah... blah... blah....(In a matter of 31 seconds I had received the best new of the day). Our baby was healthy!!! Couldn't wait to tell my husband the news.
After work I head straight home, so I can help my husband pack for the trip. At around 7:00 P.M, I drive him to the church to drop him off. Before we get out of the car we have a heart-to-heart talk. I ask him "Before you go, is there anything you want to tell me." He tells me "No matter what happens, remember this is a good thing." He says "I'm not saying anything bad will happen, I am just saying that if anything does happen don't be angry about me making this trip, and don't be angry with God." "No matter what happens, this is to bring Glory to God, If something does happen you move on, take care of my kids, you tell them I love them and that I was out there serving God." I pray for him, with all I might for God's protection over him and the rest of the men. My husband than touches my stomach and says "man, I can't wait!!" Shortly after that we get out of the car.
Pastor L.P. greets us and then tells us to grab some burritos from his office so we can eat. After a few minutes of trying to get things organized I head to the office and start munching on half of a burrito, can't wait to eat anymore and neither does this baby. After a few more minutes my husband, finds me near the office. I suddenly, remember at that moment the voice mail from earlier and take my phone out and point it towards him. I tell my husband "I have something you need to listen to, before I go back home" I play it for him. As he listens and hears the message, a huge smile spreads across his face, I can see he is at another level of excitement now. Before I leave our Pastor gathers all the men and women and we pray together.
That night as I lay in bed praying, I thank God for His blessings. Especially for the blessing received today (the results of the test). I think back at how I got a very similar phone call , when I was expecting Matthew (and here was was now such a bundle of joy!) I think How Great is our God?, here I am at 39 and for the second time, the results of my test are awesome. I think of my children and how each one has enriched and changed our lives. I think of how each of us are called to enrich and change the lives of other. I think about the miracle of life itself, existing and growing while on the other side of our very own country others were suffering.
I think of things of the past and how God's Grace is much greater than those things left behind. I think of past circumstances and trials and how God has always shown up, has always healed, has always rescued, has always forgiven. Always been there, always will be. I think about how ridiculous it had been of me to freak out about the new baby. Thank you Lord, Thank you for always being you! I fall asleep (like most nights now), holding on to my stomach.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Strong Heart
November 1, 2012- In between Rage and my job, I finally get a chance to make my appointment for my First Trimester Screening tests. November 5, could not get here fast enough. I'll get to see my baby again, in just 4 more days! I am relieved that the hospital was able to schedule me in this fast.
November 5, 2012 -Is finally here. I head to the hospital at 10:00 A.M, (my appointment is set for 10:30 A.M). but due to traffic I get there at approx 10:42. I am worried they will not see me. I rush in to check in at the front desk, and the woman at the front desk checks me in and hands me a clipboard with papers to complete. Once I am done, and I turn in the papers I am told to wait in the waiting area. While I am waiting, my boss calls me and we talk briefly. After about another 5-7 minutes I am called in.
I walk in to the room assigned to me, then lay back on the bed, and the technician gets me ready. After putting on her latex gloves on, my stomach is squirted with that weird substance and I wait for her to put the transducer down on my belly so I can see my baby.
Once again, the image of my baby is displayed on the screen and again I begin to look for certain things that I have become familiar at looking for. The head, the arms, the legs, the eyes, and the beautiful heartbeat. Looking at the screen I think how each child the Lord has blessed me with is indeed a miracle. The delicacy and intricacy of a child developing in a mother's womb is marvelous, truly a miracle within itself.
As I am looking at the screen the baby seems to cover his/her face as if to hide from me. The technician says. "Oh looks like we have a bashful baby here." We both smile and continue to look. The technician then begins to zoom in on different parts of the baby and begins to take measurements. She then says to me. Your doctor's chart says that you are due May 15, which means you should be 12 weeks and 3 days but the baby is measuring more like 13 weeks 1 day. She says are you sure this is your correct due date? I explain to her that the due date was calculated by an ultrasound to be on May 10. But that for some reason my doctor had later called me and said my due date was the 15th, so I was a little puzzled. She says "yeah from the measurements I am getting I agree it seems to be more like May 10th."
While she continues to measure, I observe my baby. I notice right away that this baby is not flipping around all over my womb the way Matthew did during this same exam a little over 1 year ago. The baby is moving about but he/she just seems much more relaxed. I think to myself that every baby is different, so no big deal why this baby is choosing not to stand on his/her head. The technician then begins to zoom in on the head and says. "Are there any family members with Spinal Bifida?" I look at her and say "No." She continues to take measurements of the head and the neck. She seems to spend a long time here, but maybe it just seems that way to me. Then she repeats the same question a second time. "So no family members with Spinal Bifida?" Once again I repeat "no." Did she not hear my response the last time? I wonder.
Then she seems to finally be done measuring whatever it is she was focusing on. And continues on with the rest of the body. She then shows me each part. The hands, the legs, the the fingers, and then she turns on the heart monitor and I get to hear the heart again. I close my eyes for a few seconds and just take in the sound I am hearing once again. When i open my eyes I see her record the heartbeat (routine). She then turns to me and says "strong heart." After this she then tells me she has been printing a few images for me take home for the baby's baby book.
She prints 4 pictures for me, but only hands me 3. Then puts the third on top of the ultrasound machine. I glance over to catch a glimpse of the printout she did not give me, I notice it is a head shot zoomed in. I wonder why she is not giving me this picture. She then picks up a chart and begins asking me different questions. Basically going down a list of diseases. Then once again she says "History of Spinal Bifida?" I then ask her. "Are you seeing something on the ultrasound that is leading you to believe there may be something wrong with my baby?" She responds. "Oh no, this is just standard I have to ask you." But I can't seem to understand why she asks me the same question 3 times.
She sees me glancing at the 4th print-out and reaches for it and hands it to me. She says "here you go, mom. maybe you want this one too". She then tells me she is going to have the doctor take at everything and she will be back. I clearly do not remember this happening with Matthew. I don't understand what is happening. A part of me feels uneasy but the waiting is the killer, it seems to go on forever.
After a few minutes a doctor comes in and tell me she has looked at the ultrasound results and everything looks normal. I think she sees I am a bit concerned, so she tells me this is just standard. She explains what the 1st Trimester screening tests are for, and she assures me the baby looks fine. She then tells me to go downstairs for the 2nd part of my test (the blood withdrawal for the chromosome check). I look her directly in the eye and say, "but the baby is OK then?" She says "Yes, baby is just fine" and smiles at me reassuringly.
I head downstairs to get my blood withdrawn. But, everything that transpired just a few minutes ago is replayed in my mind over and over. For some reason I find that I am not scared. I say to myself. God is in control. The baby is fine. It has to be a girl, no way a boy is that calm.
That night I share with my husband and kids the new pictures. We all look and marvel at the beauty. My husband immediately takes ownership of three of them, which he puts in a frame (to take to work), and leaves me with one. I place the last ultrasound picture on our refrigerator, it is the one taken after he/she hid her face. (I chose the refrigerator so we can see the image of the baby every day). I tell my husband about the conversation with the ultrasound technician and I tell him, "I just didn't like, the fact that I was asked 3 times about Spinal Bifida". He then says to me "When are you going to get the results?" I tell him the doctor said it could take a few days.
At night, I still cannot get that question out of my head. I stare a million times at each picture (especially the one of the head shot). I want to post the pictures on Facebook but for some reason I hold back. I continue to pray for the people in the east coast who are still suffering from the aftermath of the storm. I pray that God's presence will be SO evident there. I pray for people's hearts to be willing to seek God during this time. I fall asleep with my hands on my stomach praying over my baby. I pray for a healthy child, I pray for God's will with his/her life, and I pray that God will grant me peace and me not worry about my pregnancy. God answers and I fall asleep peacefully.
As I am looking at the screen the baby seems to cover his/her face as if to hide from me. The technician says. "Oh looks like we have a bashful baby here." We both smile and continue to look. The technician then begins to zoom in on different parts of the baby and begins to take measurements. She then says to me. Your doctor's chart says that you are due May 15, which means you should be 12 weeks and 3 days but the baby is measuring more like 13 weeks 1 day. She says are you sure this is your correct due date? I explain to her that the due date was calculated by an ultrasound to be on May 10. But that for some reason my doctor had later called me and said my due date was the 15th, so I was a little puzzled. She says "yeah from the measurements I am getting I agree it seems to be more like May 10th."
While she continues to measure, I observe my baby. I notice right away that this baby is not flipping around all over my womb the way Matthew did during this same exam a little over 1 year ago. The baby is moving about but he/she just seems much more relaxed. I think to myself that every baby is different, so no big deal why this baby is choosing not to stand on his/her head. The technician then begins to zoom in on the head and says. "Are there any family members with Spinal Bifida?" I look at her and say "No." She continues to take measurements of the head and the neck. She seems to spend a long time here, but maybe it just seems that way to me. Then she repeats the same question a second time. "So no family members with Spinal Bifida?" Once again I repeat "no." Did she not hear my response the last time? I wonder.
Then she seems to finally be done measuring whatever it is she was focusing on. And continues on with the rest of the body. She then shows me each part. The hands, the legs, the the fingers, and then she turns on the heart monitor and I get to hear the heart again. I close my eyes for a few seconds and just take in the sound I am hearing once again. When i open my eyes I see her record the heartbeat (routine). She then turns to me and says "strong heart." After this she then tells me she has been printing a few images for me take home for the baby's baby book.
She prints 4 pictures for me, but only hands me 3. Then puts the third on top of the ultrasound machine. I glance over to catch a glimpse of the printout she did not give me, I notice it is a head shot zoomed in. I wonder why she is not giving me this picture. She then picks up a chart and begins asking me different questions. Basically going down a list of diseases. Then once again she says "History of Spinal Bifida?" I then ask her. "Are you seeing something on the ultrasound that is leading you to believe there may be something wrong with my baby?" She responds. "Oh no, this is just standard I have to ask you." But I can't seem to understand why she asks me the same question 3 times.
She sees me glancing at the 4th print-out and reaches for it and hands it to me. She says "here you go, mom. maybe you want this one too". She then tells me she is going to have the doctor take at everything and she will be back. I clearly do not remember this happening with Matthew. I don't understand what is happening. A part of me feels uneasy but the waiting is the killer, it seems to go on forever.
After a few minutes a doctor comes in and tell me she has looked at the ultrasound results and everything looks normal. I think she sees I am a bit concerned, so she tells me this is just standard. She explains what the 1st Trimester screening tests are for, and she assures me the baby looks fine. She then tells me to go downstairs for the 2nd part of my test (the blood withdrawal for the chromosome check). I look her directly in the eye and say, "but the baby is OK then?" She says "Yes, baby is just fine" and smiles at me reassuringly.
I head downstairs to get my blood withdrawn. But, everything that transpired just a few minutes ago is replayed in my mind over and over. For some reason I find that I am not scared. I say to myself. God is in control. The baby is fine. It has to be a girl, no way a boy is that calm.
That night I share with my husband and kids the new pictures. We all look and marvel at the beauty. My husband immediately takes ownership of three of them, which he puts in a frame (to take to work), and leaves me with one. I place the last ultrasound picture on our refrigerator, it is the one taken after he/she hid her face. (I chose the refrigerator so we can see the image of the baby every day). I tell my husband about the conversation with the ultrasound technician and I tell him, "I just didn't like, the fact that I was asked 3 times about Spinal Bifida". He then says to me "When are you going to get the results?" I tell him the doctor said it could take a few days.
 |
| Taken right after he/she hid her face (this is the one that hung on our fridge) |
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| This is the area where the technician kept focusing on |
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| Kicking around |
 |
| My Favorite Pic of all |
At night, I still cannot get that question out of my head. I stare a million times at each picture (especially the one of the head shot). I want to post the pictures on Facebook but for some reason I hold back. I continue to pray for the people in the east coast who are still suffering from the aftermath of the storm. I pray that God's presence will be SO evident there. I pray for people's hearts to be willing to seek God during this time. I fall asleep with my hands on my stomach praying over my baby. I pray for a healthy child, I pray for God's will with his/her life, and I pray that God will grant me peace and me not worry about my pregnancy. God answers and I fall asleep peacefully.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
The Storm!
October 25, 2012 (11:27 AM) - I get a call from the hospital where I am suppose to go for my testing. I get a reminder to call and schedule my 1st Trimester Screening Tests. We have 3 more days of Rage to focus on, but I know I have to call and get this done. There are seriously not enough hours in a day.
I get my weekly pop up from my phone app. I am so excited! According to my phone App today I turn 13 weeks (Assuming I really am due May10th). May 10 or May 15th, who knows who is right...Oh My! For the sake of sooner vs later I decide to keep the May 10th date on my phone. I love that the app tells me how big my baby is now, as well as the milestones reached. Baby can now such his/her thumb and the vocal cords are completely developed. WOW!!
There are reports on the news that a hurricane has hit Cuba and has weakened but it now on its way to the Bahamas. The hurricane has been named "Hurricane Sandy." Experts are worried that it may begin to pick up speed as it seems it is headed to the U.S. The reporters say that there is a possibility the storm can weaken and thus we will avoid damages. But the next few days will be critical.
I get my weekly pop up from my phone app. I am so excited! According to my phone App today I turn 13 weeks (Assuming I really am due May10th). May 10 or May 15th, who knows who is right...Oh My! For the sake of sooner vs later I decide to keep the May 10th date on my phone. I love that the app tells me how big my baby is now, as well as the milestones reached. Baby can now such his/her thumb and the vocal cords are completely developed. WOW!!
There are reports on the news that a hurricane has hit Cuba and has weakened but it now on its way to the Bahamas. The hurricane has been named "Hurricane Sandy." Experts are worried that it may begin to pick up speed as it seems it is headed to the U.S. The reporters say that there is a possibility the storm can weaken and thus we will avoid damages. But the next few days will be critical.
October 26, 2012 - The storm from yesterday has moved through the Bahamas and seems to have weakened the storm. But meteorologist are still concern how the remnants of the storm can affect the U.S.
Rage is on its 3rd night. We had the largest crowd tonight thus far. I gotta admit, I am exhausted and in pain. (Sometime during Rage while doing the lighting, I bump my back against the roller coaster). I feel fine except for the gash on my back. I know my husband will not be happy once he learns I hurt myself.
I see a lot of people walk out of this event with tears in their eyes. I know God is moving here. Watching them take in the last scene of our maze, reminds me that we are here for this purpose. God is good!
October 27, 2012 -After briefly weakening "Sandy" has picked up speed and strength. Parts of the East Coast are beginning to prepare for the worst. News of the storm coming fill every TV station. New York and New Jersey are the most at risk. The storms are on their way. Not just a storm but apparently one that is going to bring catastrophic results/
Rage is on its's 4th night. We had only about 10 people come today. It was disappointing, but I have to keep in mind that it's worth it if even only one person, was ministered to tonight. Can't wait to get home. It has been a LONG weekend and I just want to put my feet up.
October 29, 2012 -Hurricane Sandy has hit the East Coast tonight. The devastation is being estimated to cost billions. I say a prayer for those that are caught in the storm that did not get a chance to leave or chose to stay. We really won't know what the damages are yet.
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October 29th-30th, 2012 - Pictures and video footage of the damage left by "sandy" is beginning to appear. It is beyond catastrophic. Besides the streets and the typical power lines being knocked down, there are images of boardwalks ripped apart. Homes are torn apart, subways are flooded and even boats/ships surfaced onto the streets in New Jersey and New York. All day long, images of destruction are displayed all over the media. The internet is flooded with news, updates, and photos. It is heartbreaking to see the destruction left behind. But one of the things that marvels me, is how people can persevere in the midst of a terrible storm like this. I see images and hear stories on the radio and the news of how people are helping each other and how others have been able to survive despite the overwhelming circumstances.
October 31, 2012 - I am glad I took the day off. So many things to do before our last night of Rage. Images of the East Coast continue to flood the media. Thousands of people are still without power. I pray God will give them strength and peace through this turmoil.
Rage- Another busy night. We had the largest group of people come tonight. Again God shows up and just tears at people's hearts. Many break down in tears, many are impacted. I am humbled that God would use our Ministry in this manner. It is bitter sweet as we close down for the night. Next year (we have decided), we will not be able to participate in this event at this capacity.
In the last week it seems like my belly has doubled, I'm wearing only maternity clothes at this point, since it's the only thing I can wear. This could be a BIG BABY. Oh boy!! I really got to make it a point to schedule that appointment. I have added it to my list of things to do.
As I look at the images that continuously appear from the storm, it blows my mind at how people are able to rise above the circumstances. The human spirit is by far so much stronger than we realize, but even more stronger than that, is the love of God for His children. Many wonder and say where is God in all of this? I see the hand of God, in every story of survival. I see God in the people who are stepping up to help, I see God in the hands and feet that are already helping clear the chaos. I see God in the people who hug others and literally have pulled people up from the wreckage. I see God in the people who say "I will come out of this". I wonder why people automatically either blame God or ask where He is when chaos hits. I believe God is in the same place He has always been. I wonder do people ask 'where was God as His son was beaten, ridiculed and eventually nailed to the cross for us?" I realize that we will never understand why things happen. To trust God in all ans with all, is SO much easier said than done.
In the last week it seems like my belly has doubled, I'm wearing only maternity clothes at this point, since it's the only thing I can wear. This could be a BIG BABY. Oh boy!! I really got to make it a point to schedule that appointment. I have added it to my list of things to do.
As I look at the images that continuously appear from the storm, it blows my mind at how people are able to rise above the circumstances. The human spirit is by far so much stronger than we realize, but even more stronger than that, is the love of God for His children. Many wonder and say where is God in all of this? I see the hand of God, in every story of survival. I see God in the people who are stepping up to help, I see God in the hands and feet that are already helping clear the chaos. I see God in the people who hug others and literally have pulled people up from the wreckage. I see God in the people who say "I will come out of this". I wonder why people automatically either blame God or ask where He is when chaos hits. I believe God is in the same place He has always been. I wonder do people ask 'where was God as His son was beaten, ridiculed and eventually nailed to the cross for us?" I realize that we will never understand why things happen. To trust God in all ans with all, is SO much easier said than done.
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