November 1, 2012- In between Rage and my job, I finally get a chance to make my appointment for my First Trimester Screening tests. November 5, could not get here fast enough. I'll get to see my baby again, in just 4 more days! I am relieved that the hospital was able to schedule me in this fast.
November 5, 2012 -Is finally here. I head to the hospital at 10:00 A.M, (my appointment is set for 10:30 A.M). but due to traffic I get there at approx 10:42. I am worried they will not see me. I rush in to check in at the front desk, and the woman at the front desk checks me in and hands me a clipboard with papers to complete. Once I am done, and I turn in the papers I am told to wait in the waiting area. While I am waiting, my boss calls me and we talk briefly. After about another 5-7 minutes I am called in.
I walk in to the room assigned to me, then lay back on the bed, and the technician gets me ready. After putting on her latex gloves on, my stomach is squirted with that weird substance and I wait for her to put the transducer down on my belly so I can see my baby.
Once again, the image of my baby is displayed on the screen and again I begin to look for certain things that I have become familiar at looking for. The head, the arms, the legs, the eyes, and the beautiful heartbeat. Looking at the screen I think how each child the Lord has blessed me with is indeed a miracle. The delicacy and intricacy of a child developing in a mother's womb is marvelous, truly a miracle within itself.
As I am looking at the screen the baby seems to cover his/her face as if to hide from me. The technician says. "Oh looks like we have a bashful baby here." We both smile and continue to look. The technician then begins to zoom in on different parts of the baby and begins to take measurements. She then says to me. Your doctor's chart says that you are due May 15, which means you should be 12 weeks and 3 days but the baby is measuring more like 13 weeks 1 day. She says are you sure this is your correct due date? I explain to her that the due date was calculated by an ultrasound to be on May 10. But that for some reason my doctor had later called me and said my due date was the 15th, so I was a little puzzled. She says "yeah from the measurements I am getting I agree it seems to be more like May 10th."
While she continues to measure, I observe my baby. I notice right away that this baby is not flipping around all over my womb the way Matthew did during this same exam a little over 1 year ago. The baby is moving about but he/she just seems much more relaxed. I think to myself that every baby is different, so no big deal why this baby is choosing not to stand on his/her head. The technician then begins to zoom in on the head and says. "Are there any family members with Spinal Bifida?" I look at her and say "No." She continues to take measurements of the head and the neck. She seems to spend a long time here, but maybe it just seems that way to me. Then she repeats the same question a second time. "So no family members with Spinal Bifida?" Once again I repeat "no." Did she not hear my response the last time? I wonder.
Then she seems to finally be done measuring whatever it is she was focusing on. And continues on with the rest of the body. She then shows me each part. The hands, the legs, the the fingers, and then she turns on the heart monitor and I get to hear the heart again. I close my eyes for a few seconds and just take in the sound I am hearing once again. When i open my eyes I see her record the heartbeat (routine). She then turns to me and says "strong heart." After this she then tells me she has been printing a few images for me take home for the baby's baby book.
She prints 4 pictures for me, but only hands me 3. Then puts the third on top of the ultrasound machine. I glance over to catch a glimpse of the printout she did not give me, I notice it is a head shot zoomed in. I wonder why she is not giving me this picture. She then picks up a chart and begins asking me different questions. Basically going down a list of diseases. Then once again she says "History of Spinal Bifida?" I then ask her. "Are you seeing something on the ultrasound that is leading you to believe there may be something wrong with my baby?" She responds. "Oh no, this is just standard I have to ask you." But I can't seem to understand why she asks me the same question 3 times.
She sees me glancing at the 4th print-out and reaches for it and hands it to me. She says "here you go, mom. maybe you want this one too". She then tells me she is going to have the doctor take at everything and she will be back. I clearly do not remember this happening with Matthew. I don't understand what is happening. A part of me feels uneasy but the waiting is the killer, it seems to go on forever.
After a few minutes a doctor comes in and tell me she has looked at the ultrasound results and everything looks normal. I think she sees I am a bit concerned, so she tells me this is just standard. She explains what the 1st Trimester screening tests are for, and she assures me the baby looks fine. She then tells me to go downstairs for the 2nd part of my test (the blood withdrawal for the chromosome check). I look her directly in the eye and say, "but the baby is OK then?" She says "Yes, baby is just fine" and smiles at me reassuringly.
I head downstairs to get my blood withdrawn. But, everything that transpired just a few minutes ago is replayed in my mind over and over. For some reason I find that I am not scared. I say to myself. God is in control. The baby is fine. It has to be a girl, no way a boy is that calm.
That night I share with my husband and kids the new pictures. We all look and marvel at the beauty. My husband immediately takes ownership of three of them, which he puts in a frame (to take to work), and leaves me with one. I place the last ultrasound picture on our refrigerator, it is the one taken after he/she hid her face. (I chose the refrigerator so we can see the image of the baby every day). I tell my husband about the conversation with the ultrasound technician and I tell him, "I just didn't like, the fact that I was asked 3 times about Spinal Bifida". He then says to me "When are you going to get the results?" I tell him the doctor said it could take a few days.
At night, I still cannot get that question out of my head. I stare a million times at each picture (especially the one of the head shot). I want to post the pictures on Facebook but for some reason I hold back. I continue to pray for the people in the east coast who are still suffering from the aftermath of the storm. I pray that God's presence will be SO evident there. I pray for people's hearts to be willing to seek God during this time. I fall asleep with my hands on my stomach praying over my baby. I pray for a healthy child, I pray for God's will with his/her life, and I pray that God will grant me peace and me not worry about my pregnancy. God answers and I fall asleep peacefully.
As I am looking at the screen the baby seems to cover his/her face as if to hide from me. The technician says. "Oh looks like we have a bashful baby here." We both smile and continue to look. The technician then begins to zoom in on different parts of the baby and begins to take measurements. She then says to me. Your doctor's chart says that you are due May 15, which means you should be 12 weeks and 3 days but the baby is measuring more like 13 weeks 1 day. She says are you sure this is your correct due date? I explain to her that the due date was calculated by an ultrasound to be on May 10. But that for some reason my doctor had later called me and said my due date was the 15th, so I was a little puzzled. She says "yeah from the measurements I am getting I agree it seems to be more like May 10th."
While she continues to measure, I observe my baby. I notice right away that this baby is not flipping around all over my womb the way Matthew did during this same exam a little over 1 year ago. The baby is moving about but he/she just seems much more relaxed. I think to myself that every baby is different, so no big deal why this baby is choosing not to stand on his/her head. The technician then begins to zoom in on the head and says. "Are there any family members with Spinal Bifida?" I look at her and say "No." She continues to take measurements of the head and the neck. She seems to spend a long time here, but maybe it just seems that way to me. Then she repeats the same question a second time. "So no family members with Spinal Bifida?" Once again I repeat "no." Did she not hear my response the last time? I wonder.
Then she seems to finally be done measuring whatever it is she was focusing on. And continues on with the rest of the body. She then shows me each part. The hands, the legs, the the fingers, and then she turns on the heart monitor and I get to hear the heart again. I close my eyes for a few seconds and just take in the sound I am hearing once again. When i open my eyes I see her record the heartbeat (routine). She then turns to me and says "strong heart." After this she then tells me she has been printing a few images for me take home for the baby's baby book.
She prints 4 pictures for me, but only hands me 3. Then puts the third on top of the ultrasound machine. I glance over to catch a glimpse of the printout she did not give me, I notice it is a head shot zoomed in. I wonder why she is not giving me this picture. She then picks up a chart and begins asking me different questions. Basically going down a list of diseases. Then once again she says "History of Spinal Bifida?" I then ask her. "Are you seeing something on the ultrasound that is leading you to believe there may be something wrong with my baby?" She responds. "Oh no, this is just standard I have to ask you." But I can't seem to understand why she asks me the same question 3 times.
She sees me glancing at the 4th print-out and reaches for it and hands it to me. She says "here you go, mom. maybe you want this one too". She then tells me she is going to have the doctor take at everything and she will be back. I clearly do not remember this happening with Matthew. I don't understand what is happening. A part of me feels uneasy but the waiting is the killer, it seems to go on forever.
After a few minutes a doctor comes in and tell me she has looked at the ultrasound results and everything looks normal. I think she sees I am a bit concerned, so she tells me this is just standard. She explains what the 1st Trimester screening tests are for, and she assures me the baby looks fine. She then tells me to go downstairs for the 2nd part of my test (the blood withdrawal for the chromosome check). I look her directly in the eye and say, "but the baby is OK then?" She says "Yes, baby is just fine" and smiles at me reassuringly.
I head downstairs to get my blood withdrawn. But, everything that transpired just a few minutes ago is replayed in my mind over and over. For some reason I find that I am not scared. I say to myself. God is in control. The baby is fine. It has to be a girl, no way a boy is that calm.
That night I share with my husband and kids the new pictures. We all look and marvel at the beauty. My husband immediately takes ownership of three of them, which he puts in a frame (to take to work), and leaves me with one. I place the last ultrasound picture on our refrigerator, it is the one taken after he/she hid her face. (I chose the refrigerator so we can see the image of the baby every day). I tell my husband about the conversation with the ultrasound technician and I tell him, "I just didn't like, the fact that I was asked 3 times about Spinal Bifida". He then says to me "When are you going to get the results?" I tell him the doctor said it could take a few days.
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| Taken right after he/she hid her face (this is the one that hung on our fridge) |
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| This is the area where the technician kept focusing on |
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| Kicking around |
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| My Favorite Pic of all |
At night, I still cannot get that question out of my head. I stare a million times at each picture (especially the one of the head shot). I want to post the pictures on Facebook but for some reason I hold back. I continue to pray for the people in the east coast who are still suffering from the aftermath of the storm. I pray that God's presence will be SO evident there. I pray for people's hearts to be willing to seek God during this time. I fall asleep with my hands on my stomach praying over my baby. I pray for a healthy child, I pray for God's will with his/her life, and I pray that God will grant me peace and me not worry about my pregnancy. God answers and I fall asleep peacefully.
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